A Beautiful Saturday It Should Be!

"Mom, can we order the costumes now?"

A question I heard a million times these last few days. Ok, maybe it hasn't reached a million times yet, but I certainly feel like it has! As the Halloween approaches, my boys surely remember my promise a few months ago to get them their desired "Vert Wheeler" costume from Hot Wheel Battle Force 5 and "Spider Monkey" from Ben 10 Alien Force.

While the whole North America celebrates Halloween, we participate in our church's annual Hallelujah Party. On Halloween, instead of trick or treating, we get together to praise the Lord. Kids get to play games to win their treats and there are worship musics, puppet shows, etc. My boys really enjoy this night every year. Without an exception this year, they have been looking forward to the Hallelujah night.

I was going to order the costumes with them online last night, but because of their disobedience, I had to postphone to today. This morning, as soon as they got up, they started to "shower" me with the same question. The condition for us to be able to order them was for them to finish their works first. Long story short, they haven't been able to fulfill that and it has been a struggling this whole morning. A beautiful Saturday morning with lots of sunshine outside the house.... yet, inside our house, there were screaming, crying, yelling, a very familiar scene from Supernanny if you have watched the show.

My husband worked over night, in fact he is not even home yet as I write this at 11:20am right now. This morning, my 7 month old got up at 5:30am and wouldn't go back to sleep. My 6-year-old came to tell me that he had wet his pajamas at just before 6am. By 6:30am, I was surrounded by three boys goofing, laughing, and one crying in my bed. On a Saturday morning!!!!! I finally gave up as the boys announced that they smelled something from their baby brother's diaper.....

After feeding them breakfast, I was hoping to have some quiet time while they do some homework in their room quietly after I had put the littlest to a nap. They did so for about an hour before they got distracted and started to make noises, which of course woke up the napping baby. So, my quiet time ended even before it actually began....
So, here I was lack of sleep, tired, irritated, frustrated, exhausted. And it was only 10am....

In the last 4.5 hours, I felt like I have already gone through a whole day worth of parenting. I have raised my voice (which was not a good parenting, by the way), talked with the boys separately after they "screamed murder" to each other, prayed with them for God to help them with their struggles such as self-control, being nice to others, etc. "Remind" them to finish their works first if they want to play....

In the middle of this caos, as I was yelping for help from God, He all of a sudden brought back to my memory what He has given me as a reward last night. Last night, before I left my boys' room, Ethan had told me that he had overheard the bus driver told one of the girls, "I hope she will get better." So, he was wondering who was sick and wondered if it was one of his classmates, Eliana. So, he bowed his head right there in the bus and prayed for her to get better.

I was in such a joy when I heard this. This is what I really want to see in my children, not that they are smart, well behaved, organized, well mannered (of course these are important and it's my prayer that they will be blessed by these), but more than the superficial behaviours, I really desire their heart to be with compassion and love and to turn to God for anything and everything.

As God gave me back this picture in my mind, I felt that my burden lifted up. It's a Saturday morning. Why am I getting so uptight about? Enjoy the sunshine and smell the roses! Breathe!!! I had to yell at myself. While I "hinted" at them that they were ruining the beautiful Saturday, God was telling me that I was the one who were ruining everyone's Saturday.

I am sweating over little stuffs and missing something more important. And I wasn't being fair. You see, my frustration really was coming from the fact that my husband was still at work and I was doing everything myself without a break. My physical limit led to emotional limit, which then resulted in releasing my frustration on my poor kids. Then, I was reminded by God's word in the book I was reading for the fellowship tonight. God says, "Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

As I went to God that night, repenting for my faults and asking for rest, He surely graciously and mercifully gave me rest. Rest I had. Not necessarily a physical rest, but a "peace that surpasses all understanding" that only God can give as He promised in Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Praise the Lord!