Beautiful Jelly Fish or Ugly Barracudas?

Can you still find a hope after your dream dies? Today's focus on the family radio broadcast was the second part of a talk with Phil Vischer, the original creator of the famous Veggie Tales. The details of his journey with his dream can be found in today's broadcast, but basically, he was forced to let go of his 10-year worth of work of Veggie Tales because of a bankruptcy. His journey of "being at a hotel eating some strawberries with his wife while talking on the phone with an editor from New York Times" to be "sitting at the back of a court watching his 10-year worth of work being sold at an auction" really spoke to me.

Phil's dream of making a "Christian Walt Disney" became his idol and God had to crush it down in order to grasp his heart. All those times, he believed that God wanted him to establish a Christian Walt Disney. Yet, when he looked back at the whole thing when he was crushed to the bottom being disappointed by God for not coming to rescue him when his business was failing, he finally realized that it was never God's will for him to create a Christian Walt Disney. It was his own will to do so for his own identity and security to be recognized.

He now has a company he named Jelly Telly to remind himself of how he should allow himself to be carried by the "ocean current" like jelly fish. He was more like a barracuda who was trying to impress God by saying, "Look at what I can do!" "Bless me, but get out of my way." (borrowing and paraphrasing Phil's words.)

While listening to it, I was thinking about my own dreams. My dream has been to be a wife and a mother since I was little. And it was my compass while I was making decisions about my life. So, I got married and had kids right away. At the same time as my dream has come true, I started to have more "ideas" about what I want to do. The desire of wanting to make these "ideas" come true has grown since and they became my "dreams" now. Yet, I personally accepted the fact that it was not the time God wanted me to do anything about these dreams, so I hesitantly put them down at the corner of my heart, waiting for the days to come when I can finally go out there and make these dreams come true in my life.

But, I questioned myself today, "Are they really from God?" Or are they my desires to be noticed and recognized? Are they simply for my own fame? Being at home for nearly 10 years, I think I do desire some recognition. Something other than a wife and a mom to identify myself. Or at least for people to know that I exist! Just like Phil, I might be hiding behind my true motivation while trying to convince even myself that my dreams are God's callings.

As I thought about all these things, I almost heard God's saying, "That's why I haven't given you any opportunity to make those dreams happen in your life yet." God saw the nature of a barracuda in me that he can't open the doors for me yet.

Apparently, Jelly fish look just like sandwich bags when they are on the shore even though they are so beautiful in the water. We are truly like Jelly fish: without God, we are just like sandwich bags, but when we let go of ourselves and allow God to carry us in His current, we can be beautiful.

I decided to give those dreams of mine up to God and ask Him to carry me there if they are indeed His callings for me someday. As much as I desire to make my dreams come true one day, I'd rather be like a jelly fish floating beautifully carried by God's current than an ugly barracuda or a "sandwich bag" lying on the see shore, not being what it was made to be.