This week, the boys have attended a Vocational Bible School at a local church here in Alliston. It was only for the mornings from 9am-12pm. This forces us to go to bed early and get up early. At the same time it gave me a whole morning just to be with Ben. Although Ben is still clinging and unless he's asleep in the sling on my chest, I can't do much, I had a sneak peek of what is to come from September. This is the first time I actually had time to myself (sort of) apart from the boys in terms of sending them to some programs. So far, every church programs they have attended, I was there with them. It felt a little weird at the beginning, but I kind of enjoyed this little break. :)
They seemed to have a great time everyday and were excited about going back the next day. I am very pleased to know this and also was glad to meet wonderful christians here in town. Maybe Ed's right; I have to make friends here in town. Having the kids attend some local programs certainly is a way to be exposed to people here in Alliston. I have always felt kind of uncomfortable to be with white people because of the cultural difference. Even though I speak English now, not growing up here makes me feel so foreign in a white community. Because of this, I have been sheltering myself from "unnecessary encounters" with even our neighbours. But, I guess that's another hurdle I have to overcome in my life.
Through this, again I realized that I care so much about how people view me. I have met many minority people whose English is not native, yet, they were right in the middle of the group being themselves. This past week, I felt God's nudging me and telling me to be myself and not care so much about how people will think about me. He wants me, too, to gloom as who He made me to be. I feel like a heavy load being lifted up from my shoulder. Now, I feel more courage in me to step into the community.
7/23/2010
7/22/2010
School from September
I have mentioned about Dareth's (Darren & Ethan) schooling in the previous entry. That was another lesson learned for me. Ever since the end of my third trimester until first 2 months after Ben was born, I wasn't able to put enough effort and energy into the boys' schooling, nor in having disciplined daily schedules. They were let loose for a few months, which resulted in very disobedient sons with bad attitudes.... As I started to feel my limit in homeschooling while taking care of an infant, Ed also was considering other options. Finally we agreed on sending them to school from September.
Now the question is where? We had three options: public school, a christian private school here in town and our church school 50 minutes away. I was trying to avoid sending them to public school at all cost, especially after I learned about the new sex education curriculum that was planned to be put in practice from September. But the reality was that we could not afford a private school with a tuition of close to $20,000 a year. In my mind, I tried to get involved with our church school even though that means we have to commute 50 minutes one way everyday. I was ready to commit even with a baby. But, Ed had another idea; public school was what's in his mind. Knowing this, I had been avoiding talking about the issue, trying to avoid the tension. I prayed, "Lord if it's your will for the boys to continue in Christian Education, please provide us a way and change Ed's mind." But He didn't. As I continue to seek a way to send them to either christian school, God worked in my heart. He patiently and persistently talked to me through my daily devotionals, personal bible study, and other ways to trust in Him and Him alone, not the environment, not the teachers, not the students, not the education policies, nor the curriculum and to submit to my husband's leading.
Finally I decided to obey God and let go of my plans for my boys. I brought up the schooling of the boys that night and although it started with a tensed conversation, we were able to communicate our ideas to each other. Or I should say, most part was to hear what my husband had to say and say yes to that. It wasn't easy to get there, but once I did, finally I was able to have a sense of peace.
While I tried to find a way to avoid sending them to public school, I contacted the Christian school here in town for their tuition. They were readjusting it and told me that they would get back to me after it's decided. On the e-mail, they also invited us to a school tour if we would like. Since we had decided to send the boys to public school, I didn't know if Ed wanted to have that tour. But, to my surprise, he said yes to the school tour and so we arranged to have one in the coming week. Meanwhile, we found out that they had decided to reduce the tuition by 25% and the amount was for the whole family! At the same time, Ed has mentioned to me the first time that he was thinking about a way to pay their tuition because he really wanted to send them to Christian school. Wow, I thought, still was peaceful and sure that we would send the boys to public school.
We had a wonderful experience with the school tour. We were so pleased and impressed by how friendly the atmosphere was at the school from the principle, to the secretary, to students, and then parents. Parents who saw us waiting in the hallway came to greet us and welcomed us to the school and reassured us that we would not regret our decision. (which is good to know!) We just really enjoyed the experience and became so sure that we wanted the boys to go there. By the end of the day, the boys had taken the entry exams, the deposit was made, and applications turned in. We came home and was speechless of what had just happened.... but with a sense of peace, joy, and excitement! The boys were able to participate in their own classes and had a sneak peak of what it's like to be in a classroom and were totally in love with it. In fact, they can't wait to start attending the school! (which is another good thing to know).
Again, God has taught me a lesson. I have been His stumbling block this whole time!!! The more I tried to arrange the boys schooling, the more I was interfering with God's work. Once as soon as I let go, He came in and worked His plan for us perfectly. I really need to give my head a shake!!! How come I keep on making the same mistake! Of course God knows the best what my boys need! And He loves them way more than I can imagine. I need to remember that they are His children and I am just a steward to raise them here on earth. Thank you God for another precious lesson. Thank you for your patience with me. Again, I thank God with a repentant heart...
Now the question is where? We had three options: public school, a christian private school here in town and our church school 50 minutes away. I was trying to avoid sending them to public school at all cost, especially after I learned about the new sex education curriculum that was planned to be put in practice from September. But the reality was that we could not afford a private school with a tuition of close to $20,000 a year. In my mind, I tried to get involved with our church school even though that means we have to commute 50 minutes one way everyday. I was ready to commit even with a baby. But, Ed had another idea; public school was what's in his mind. Knowing this, I had been avoiding talking about the issue, trying to avoid the tension. I prayed, "Lord if it's your will for the boys to continue in Christian Education, please provide us a way and change Ed's mind." But He didn't. As I continue to seek a way to send them to either christian school, God worked in my heart. He patiently and persistently talked to me through my daily devotionals, personal bible study, and other ways to trust in Him and Him alone, not the environment, not the teachers, not the students, not the education policies, nor the curriculum and to submit to my husband's leading.
Finally I decided to obey God and let go of my plans for my boys. I brought up the schooling of the boys that night and although it started with a tensed conversation, we were able to communicate our ideas to each other. Or I should say, most part was to hear what my husband had to say and say yes to that. It wasn't easy to get there, but once I did, finally I was able to have a sense of peace.
While I tried to find a way to avoid sending them to public school, I contacted the Christian school here in town for their tuition. They were readjusting it and told me that they would get back to me after it's decided. On the e-mail, they also invited us to a school tour if we would like. Since we had decided to send the boys to public school, I didn't know if Ed wanted to have that tour. But, to my surprise, he said yes to the school tour and so we arranged to have one in the coming week. Meanwhile, we found out that they had decided to reduce the tuition by 25% and the amount was for the whole family! At the same time, Ed has mentioned to me the first time that he was thinking about a way to pay their tuition because he really wanted to send them to Christian school. Wow, I thought, still was peaceful and sure that we would send the boys to public school.
We had a wonderful experience with the school tour. We were so pleased and impressed by how friendly the atmosphere was at the school from the principle, to the secretary, to students, and then parents. Parents who saw us waiting in the hallway came to greet us and welcomed us to the school and reassured us that we would not regret our decision. (which is good to know!) We just really enjoyed the experience and became so sure that we wanted the boys to go there. By the end of the day, the boys had taken the entry exams, the deposit was made, and applications turned in. We came home and was speechless of what had just happened.... but with a sense of peace, joy, and excitement! The boys were able to participate in their own classes and had a sneak peak of what it's like to be in a classroom and were totally in love with it. In fact, they can't wait to start attending the school! (which is another good thing to know).
Again, God has taught me a lesson. I have been His stumbling block this whole time!!! The more I tried to arrange the boys schooling, the more I was interfering with God's work. Once as soon as I let go, He came in and worked His plan for us perfectly. I really need to give my head a shake!!! How come I keep on making the same mistake! Of course God knows the best what my boys need! And He loves them way more than I can imagine. I need to remember that they are His children and I am just a steward to raise them here on earth. Thank you God for another precious lesson. Thank you for your patience with me. Again, I thank God with a repentant heart...
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